I Don’t Feel Like It

Sometimes, I just don’t feel like doing anything.  Or, I feel like doing something, but that something is hiding in a closet with a People Magazine, a Snickers bar, and a Diet Coke.  Or entering a vegetative state in front of the TV.  Or grabbing big trash bags and filling them with everything on the floor of the kids’ rooms and then taking them to the Dumpster…but that might take too much effort.

It seems like there has been a theme coming into focus in my life in the past few weeks.  And I have found that when themes or people or ideas that have nothing to do with Snickers bars continue to present themselves regardless of which way you turn, you should pay attention. 

Here’s what keeps popping up: my emotions or feelings should not dictate my thought life or actions. “Take every thought captive,” the Bible says, so apparently God knows this is going to be a fight.  You take enemies captive, not friends.  What I know is true might not always feel true.

I cannot let the fact that I do not want to be a productive member of society keep me from the activities that would qualify me as a productive member of society.  Things like daily bathing, taking care of children, maintaining an orderly home, feeding various family members fruits and vegetables instead of marshmallows (they were strawberry flavored!) and Reese Puffs come to mind.  I cannot let doubt, anxiety or general grumpiness hold the reins of my day-to-day activities or guide my thinking.

I am rarely “in the mood” to do what I should.  There…I said it.  Martyn Lloyd-Jones said we should spend less time listening to ourselves and more time talking to ourselves.  If we listen to ourselves, we may hear that God doesn’t really care about us, prayer is a waste of breath, and we’ll always be stuck in habitual sin.  Part of sanctification is praying for the Holy Spirit’s help and then doing what we’ve been called to do, instead of waiting for the proper motivation.  I think I’ll go finish cleaning the kitchen now.


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