It is 4:30 p.m. In 2 1/2 hours, I will be teaching a study on prayer. I do not want to. It makes me nervous.
I keep reminding myself that God delights to use the weak, that His glory is made manifest because I can’t do anything in my own strength but all things through Him who gives me strength, but I struggle with my inadequacies. I want to be very good at something. One of my very favorite stories in the Bible is when God names two men who are skilled craftsmen to create materials and work metals for the construction of the tabernacle (Exodus 31). That is who I want to be. I do not want to be Beth Moore.
I want to be Bezalel, a behind-the-scenes worker who gives glory to God in artistic design. I wonder if Bezalel had self-image issues? I wonder if he ever looked at what he’d done and thought that it wasn’t good enough, who was he kidding, thinking he was a skilled craftsman? I don’t think so. I picture Bezalel quietly confident, working designs into metals and setting stones and carving wood and standing back and praising God through his work.
God can use me wherever he wants to. Months ago I saw the need for a women’s small group in our new church, so I headed it up. I heard once that the need is not the call. I can’t decide if that is true or if that is just an excuse not to help out. We can’t do everything that needs to be done ourselves, I know, but if you see a hole and you are able and willing to fill it, is that the call? Maybe it is, or maybe we’re all serving miserably in the church because we’re not doing that to which our gifts and skills lend us. I don’t know.